David: On The Lot

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I watched a bit of the first episode of this movie directing competition "reality" show last night. Out of several thousand entrants, they chose 50 people.

Many of these 50 were so ridiculously talentless I wondered how terrible the other thousands were.

Besides, the panel of judges included Carrie Fisher and what's his name that directed "X-Men 3". What the hell? They're pushing the fact that Steven Spielberg is exec-producing this thing, so why not go the "Apprentice" route and have him judge it as well?

Or is he too busy producing this: The Talisman

David: More Dark Tower News I Missed

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I just got around to reading issue 4 of "The Gunslinger Born" Marvel series. Contained in the back section of the issue was the second part of a Comicon interview with the comics creators, including Stephen King. In it, he revealed that he has sold the option rights to the Dark Tower saga to Lost co-creators J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof (for $19, how cool is that?).

David: Deathly Hallows

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I have just finished reading the final Harry Potter novel. I know what you're thinking ("he can't have read it, it isn't out for two months!"). Just know that I have connections, and those connections are legit.

So, here's the big ending!

Snape isn't really a bad guy at all, and he didn't really kill Dumbledore. In fact, Snape IS Dumbledore! What's more Dumbledore is a decendant of Salazar Slytherin.

The Dumbledore that Harry knew is really Harry's father, James Potter, who was really an alias of Sirius Black. This explains Sirius's overwhelming attachment to Harry, since he is actually his father.

What does all this mean? It's quite obvious isn't it? Voldemort is Harry's future self projected into the past and given a new name. In order to restore balance to the wizarding world, which seems to get more serious about itself the longer Harry goes to school, both versions of Harry must die. So Ron and Hermoine have to kill both of him. Snape/Dumbledore/James/Sirius watches this with glee, since his overarching plan throughout the whole series has been to place a large bet on a Quidditch match that can't be won without Harry. Slytherin wins this match.

Ravenclaw gets the house cup.

David: The Italian Stallion Stikes Back

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I just finished watching Rocky Balboa.

I say the following without shame. I cried like a little bitch.

David: Anyone Here Watching LOST?

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This show has had an end date set for the 2010, but, if it's going where I think it is (and how often has it?), I think it may have jumped the shark last night.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Don't read this if you ever plan on being "surprised" by the episode that aired last night.

There's a fucking invisible man in a rocking chair in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. And he doesn't like technology.

Say what?

Also, Locke got shot in the chest, but hasn't died from it yet. If he dies, I quit watching. At this point, Terry O'Quinn is LOST's only saving grace.