David: Marvel Zombies Vs. The Army of Darkness

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It's like Marvel recently went through my media collection and tried to decide which comic ideas would completely frickin' blow my mind.

David: Coming of Age

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When I was a kid my father and I would often take weekend camping trips into the depths of the rural areas around my hometown. He and I would hop in his old beat up pickup and drive down the country roads until we found ourselves a good spot to hunker.

Some of the greatest memories from my childhood are of pulling fish from a pond and then frying it up over an open fire. Spending the night under the stars (provided it wasn't raining) was always fun.

It was on the way home from one of these weekend trips in my eleventh year that Dad suddenly pulled the pickup to the side of the road. I fixed him with a quixotic look. "You're driving" he said.

"What?"

"You heard me."

That was all that was said. Dad walked around the back of the truck and I slid over to the driver's side.

"Alright," Dad said. "Push down the brake and put 'er in 'D'".

I did.

"Okay. Take your foot off the brake and gently push down on the gas."

We both instantly discovered that "gently" is a relative term. The tires spun on the gravel and I jumped in my seat, immediately pulling my foot from the pedal.

"That's okay," Dad said. "Happens to everybody. More gently this time."

Just like that, I was driving.

It was amazing how quickly I became comfortable behind the wheel. The gravel roads led us over several hills and with each one I gained more confidence in my ability.

I started laughing. Dad shot me a surprised look.

"What's so funny?"

I only giggled an unintelligible reply, pressing the gas pedal down further. The speedometer passed 40 m.p.h.

"Take it easy. You need to slow down a bit."

At this I guffawed, and placed the pedal against the floor. The speedometer shot upwards of 55 m.p.h. and continued to climb.

"Stop!" he yelled.

I began jerking the wheel back and forth laughing like a madman (though I was not). The truck's back wheels broke first to the right then the left. Somehow it managed to stay on the road.

75 m.p.h. combined with a violent spin of the steering wheel to the right, however, was more than it could take. The truck first slid sideways down the road, and then overturned, rolling over 4 or 5 times before coming to rest on its wheels.

Dad was seriously injured. I died.

David: Public Masturbation

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It's unseemly.

David: Dark Tower Comics

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So, I've got copies of issues 1 and 2 of The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born. Haven't had a chance to really start reading them (work), but I have flipped through, and they're just fucking gorgeous.

It's good to have another door into All-World.

Edit: Holy...! There's actually fleshed out geography of the barony of New Canaan.

David: All Your Penguins Are Belong to Us

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Muahahahahaha!