The first five beats of shave and a haircut sounded from my door. The knocks were loud enough to be heard, but light enough not to intimidate. Couple that with the instinctual need to complete the final "two bits" and how could I not answer the door.
I opened the door. A young man in a track suit starts off with a question. "Hey, has anyone from the girl's track team been by yet?
I answer no as I take a glance towards his hands. He's holding a laminated card in his hand.
"Great," he says. "Thanks for hiding from them so I could talk to you first. We're having a contest to see who can meet the most people."
I was impressed. The subtle presupposition that I was hiding from the other's to help him win. The gratitude. How could I not want to hear more?
I closed the door in his face.
I have enough issues.

I watched Godzilla: Final Wars.
I always lower my expectations a bit when watching Godzilla movies. The effects aren't always the greatest, but they are always enjoyable. This is the first time I've ever truly been disappointed.
What did they want it to be? It was a mixture of Star Trek, Star Wars, X-Men, and The Matrix, filmed in the style of the Power Rangers, with all of the worst parts of every Godzilla movie ever made, thrown in for spice.
There were only two redeeming qualities:
1) The "American Godzilla" made an appearance and was thoroughly humiliated by the superior Japanese model ("I knew that tuna-eating monster was useless").
2) Perhaps the dirtiest phrase ever uttered in a Godzilla movie: "People used to call me 'Mr. One-shot.'"

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day. He had a dream you know. I had a dream last night. I was a piece of Cap'N Crunch cereal. I and hundreds like me were flying in formation. We had strict orders not to break formation. Why? We were protecting the Crunch Berries. I stayed in formation and was shot down. As I plummeted from the sky I wondered what made those damn Crunch Berries so special.

Since you can't smell my poop, it follows that my poop doesn't stink. I'm better than you.

I wanted to merge a couple of files. I figured I would use the paste command to add the contents of one file into another one, but I didn't know the syntax. In *NIX you have to type "man" and then the command to read the manual for the command. I had to type: "man paste." That's just filthy.