[ Ventilation ] |

12-15-2004 1:29 am

the one thing that's been a constant in my life over the past two years is now gone. the last thing i had that i looked forward to so much is gone. because stupid people do stupid things, now the stable's breaking apart.

i'll never ride Buddy or Micah or Cool or Jack or Toby or Dusty or Magnum or Seymour or Timmy or Lady EVER AGAIN.

i don't think i've been this depressed, through all the emotional stress and every conflict i've had w/ people since i got to college. this upsets me more than i can possibly say, and i think maybe this is just a sign that LIFE EFFING SUCKS... and i wish i'd NEVER been BORN.

Mood: beyond depressed...
Music: loving the alien - velvet revolver

Comments (7)

fuzmeister - (The Real ST)

I'm not sure I can appreciate your loss only because I don't know what it means to you. Now if you had broken your legs or become paralyzed and couldn't ride again, that would make sense.

To me losing an ability to do something is worse than losing that privilage. Just because you lost this doesn't mean you've lost it all.

It still sucks though.

toodldo_4julie - ()

the emotional ties to that stable and family and those particular 40 or so horses are... undescribable. it's not just the riding. it's everything that went along w/ the stable... all the people, all the animals, the atmosphere, the therapeutic riding program i volunteered for..

this was the only really stable thing left in my life that i'd planned on always being there when i went back home. ...

Andy - ()

better to have loved and lost...

toodldo_4julie - ()

they always say that.. but it hurts more to lose than it does to feel like i never experienced...

2-HeadedGiraffe - (*(..)*)

When life hands you a 'gator, make gatoraide.

toodldo_4julie - ()

i don't know how :

:P

thanks you three

Andy - ()

Hey, I recognize that! It's your yearbook quote!

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