toodldo_4julie: weighing the options

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to be or not to be

to live or to die

to love or to hate

to smile or to frown, laugh or cry

to gain or to lose

too much or too little

to walk or to drive

to hold onto or to let go

too tight or too loose

too big or too small

too rich or too poor

too proud or too meek

these everyday, small decisions that we make w/out really thinking about them make my head spin. because i cannot just decide..i want everything in my life to be right in the middle, to be balanced. it never works that way. i think since i cannot be in the exact middle of any two possible extremes, then i go as far one way or the other as i can. hence, i have a very confused brain sometimes. maybe that's why it's so hard to make normal decisions, like what to order off the menu...because there really is no extreme there, all of the choices are equivelant, in that, they are all sort of right in the middle, which is what i want, but they're ALL in the middle, so i get confused.

as for news... my two half sisters that live w/ my mom in va are about to be put through the same shit i had to grow up with, and they're only 6 and 7.


god damn the world's unfairness and cruelty




Mood: confused at decisions, angered at the world
Music: tunes in my head

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