toodldo_4julie: hmm..

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cookies taste good, but chips taste better!

we're watching season 2 of m*a*s*h. it causes me much happiness not to have to fastforward through commercials on a tape of the shows. dvds are quite handy and nice. ;)

:P

the three cats that live in my home don't get along, well, 2 do, but my cat doesn't get along w/ the other two. he uh.. attacked/was attacked by them tonight :P lots of loud sounds. *shakes head* why do cat fights always sound so bad?




Mood: curious
Music: m*a*s*h theme
Browsing: m*a*s*h

toodldo_4julie: the only thing...

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...iwantistounderstand

materialistic things hold little to no importance in the long run

i hope everyone else's christmas has gone as well as mine, that everyone has celebrated their holiday[s] in whatever way makes it meaningful to them.




Mood: blubberblubbutton

toodldo_4julie: weighing the options

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to be or not to be

to live or to die

to love or to hate

to smile or to frown, laugh or cry

to gain or to lose

too much or too little

to walk or to drive

to hold onto or to let go

too tight or too loose

too big or too small

too rich or too poor

too proud or too meek

these everyday, small decisions that we make w/out really thinking about them make my head spin. because i cannot just decide..i want everything in my life to be right in the middle, to be balanced. it never works that way. i think since i cannot be in the exact middle of any two possible extremes, then i go as far one way or the other as i can. hence, i have a very confused brain sometimes. maybe that's why it's so hard to make normal decisions, like what to order off the menu...because there really is no extreme there, all of the choices are equivelant, in that, they are all sort of right in the middle, which is what i want, but they're ALL in the middle, so i get confused.

as for news... my two half sisters that live w/ my mom in va are about to be put through the same shit i had to grow up with, and they're only 6 and 7.


god damn the world's unfairness and cruelty




Mood: confused at decisions, angered at the world
Music: tunes in my head

toodldo_4julie: ahhhh

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me: remind me again why i woke up at 6:30 a.m.? on my break!
my other identity: because you're going to alumni day
me: why the hell would i want to do that?
my other identity: dunno
me: well, do i have to?
my other identity: if you want to see people, then yes.
me: oh
my other identity: just don't eat the food.
me: why not?
my other identity: because the cook's an alien who will poison us all!!!
me: hey! be nice! that's my great aunt!! >:|
my other identity: no! you will not take over, alien side.
me: ohhhh, yes i will.. mwahahahaha
my other identity: help! help!
me: you cannot be saved from yourself....


as the battle continues, me and my other identity are caught in a futile struggle for existance...
but..
me eventually overcomes my other identity...

the alien nature reigns... Mwahahahahahaha


Mood: quite fascinated!
Music: the tunes in my head

toodldo_4julie: am i odd?

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i wonder sometimes- i think maybe i'm not sane. i don't think like most people that i know. a friend told me once that i was a 'project', that she had to study me to try to understand me. i can be at the absolute minimun, yet, still laugh. i can be at the absolute max, and still cry. i'd rather have a cat walking across my back than have a professional masseuse. i go barefoot in the snow. when one of my best friends and i play perfect dark, we call it 'killing' rather than 'gaming', so when we walk through stores, we terrify people by saying we're gonna go kill tonight. the strangest things fascinate me; a piece of glass or a stone can amuse me for a loooong time. i listen to printers when they're printing, and try to hear differences in their 'voices'. everyone thinks i've been dropped on my head. i'm just one oddball in the midst of all those brightly colored plastic balls in one of those strange play-things (like pits) kids go into.

hm... and i fascinate myself, which is probably not a good or a healthy thing to do. :


Mood: fascinated by self
Music: computer's at school...no music :(