Laodicean: Dreams

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I've been having weird dreams lately. In the past week, I've dreamt that:
1)It was my wedding day, but I couldn't find any white shoes. Thus, I could not(and did not) get married.
2)I accidentally fed my fish way too much, and they grew to gigantic proportions. They were the size of sharks, but somehow fit into my 10 gallon aquarium. I was afraid of them, despite the barrier.
3)I lived in a house across from exhibitionist neighbors, and I would occasionally glance at their house and see more than I wanted. They would catch me staring at them, and come over and confront me. (Wow, this really sounds like the lead in to a porno, doesn't it? In my dream, the tone was somehow not sexual at all.)

Feel free to give me an analysis.



Mood: indifferent
Music: STP

Laodicean: $#@#$#@$ roomates!

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You'd think my roomates could stop %$#@-ing for long enough to take care of their own animals. Common sense says priorities should go in this order:
1)Let dogs back in house before they claw up the front door
2)Go to bedroom and *&#$
3)Put pillow over face to muffle sounds during act out of courtesy for the roomate who actually pays bills.

Oh, and asking before moving a non-rent-paying boyfriend into the house would always have been a nice courtesy.


Mood: Enraged
Music: Ben Folds

Laodicean: I promise that I'm not on drugs

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Oh, what a day it's been. It's reminded me of the way I felt last spring in the aftermath of a(nother) failed relationship. Numb, disconnected, not really living. A vast difference from what I've been feeling in the past six months. Today it was like I wasn't even a part of the world. I was surprised that people could see me. You ever have those days? I was walking to class and felt like I was floating. My body was moving without me doing the work, and I was noticing how colorful and vivid everything was. It's like everything visual is in greater focus and everything tactile is dulled. And I was watching everyone walk across campus and I suddenly saw order in all of it. All these people walking, moving forward as if they were helpless to stop it. As if it were TV before TiVo. I've had my issues with my Catholic upbringing and my rebellion against it and have been to the point where I could say I no longer believed in God, although I don't think I could ever say it out loud. It just sounds...harsh. But today I was just struck with the thought that there has to be some higher power. A reason why things move the way that they do. Something keeping relative order. I was observing all of this from such a mental distance that a girl I knew from classes had to scream at me several times to get my attention. Sometimes, I forget that I'm real.

I've decided recently to cut off an on-again, off-again relationship that I've had for most of the past four years. It seems fitting that I'm about to graduate college and cast off my security blanket. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but he was the first one that I loved. Maybe all this disconnection from the world stems from my severing the tie of first love. I have to admit, I rather like being numb.

By the way, I'm not on drugs. My employer has started random drug testing, thus none for me!



Mood: disconnected, and happy about it
Music: Offspring

Laodicean: midgets and dating: a vent poll

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Do you think midgets are required to ride in car seats?

and

Would you date someone significantly older/younger(say 12-13 years) than you?

and

If you periodically slept with your ex and enjoyed it immensely, but they called you compulsively during odd hours of the night to confess their undying love, would you break it off?

and

If I, ahem...I mean the hypothetical "you", didn't break it off, would that make me...I mean "you" a bitch?


Mood: curious
Music: Green Day--American Idiot

Laodicean: 20 minutes from now

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According to my junk mail, I'm going to have an erection in 20 minutes. As I'm female, this frightens me greatly.


Mood: frightened