Beowulf: Life is a risky venture

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"The Risk"

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one...

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - - safe, dark, motionless, airless - - it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

C. S. Lewis

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Why am I posting this you may ask. Well, the truth is I don't really know either. I was given this poem by a friend who thought it encapsulated a part of her outlook on love and life. After reading it I thought that some of Lewis's ideas were right on mark. To love is to be vulnerable. Who can deny this truth? But not to love is to become callouse and uncaring. How much fun is that?

Again, why am I posting this? Mostly, just because I can. Maybe this tiny bit of literature will make someone stop and think.

G'day all

Mood: indifferent
Music: The Man on the Side, John Mayer
Browsing: Burn, baby burn. Disco Inferno!!

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Beowulf: This guru is bored!!!

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I NEED QUESTIONS. FEED ME QUESTIONS. ASK ME QUESTIONS. NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!

YOU POOR PATHETIC SOULS MUST LACK KNOWLEDGE OF SOME SORT.
you must ask me these questions so I may enlightened you.

just ask please. I want something to do.

Mood: bored
Music: bored
Browsing: bored

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Beowulf: other post didn't make sense

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I decided since I'm still not tired and my other post didn't have any real content, I should throw something on here with a bit of soul or something. Everyone else on here seems to keep people informed on their lives, perhaps I should too.

Welp, I attend a school every day that is not much more than a glorified expensive day care where they force me to do work I don't want to do and listen to people who are barely qualified to teach their classes. All for a stupid peice of paper so I can leave this town.

I've got five really close friends, a couple of friends that are good people, but I don't share a lot with them, and a nice group of people that are fun to be around sometimes but I can't handle them all the time. Of my five close friends, two ran off to the military. These two are like my bestest best friend type people. Their leaving was good for them, and I'm glad they did it. However, it left me feeling a bit alone. Again, of those five, after this semester one is moving away to be with Aaron in the marines (one of the two mentioned previously. That takes me down to two that are still close to here. One of those two is debating a five month trip to study in Europe knocking me down to one. And finally, to top it all off, this one is wrestling with the idea of going to the East coast to be with his girlfriend. hmm, if you followed all that, I am left with no close friends still around here.

It's not that I don't want them to go. I do. It's good for them and it's what they want to do so they should do it. I want them to do what makes them happy. But it does leave me feeling a bit alone and kinda sorrowful that I can't get out of here like they did. I'm pretty much bound to this area until I finish college.

It's really hard to describe the ambivalence I feel in this situation. Being alone isn't bad. I almost revel in my solitude from time to time. But there is always those moments when I want one or several of them just to be here. To have them close so i know that if I need them they're close at hand. but I never really need them. Dangit, being human sux.

oh well, such is life. Carpe Diem baby!!

(Ed: fixed the link there, sorry about goofing up the time as well)

Mood: danm I want to sleep
Music: none yet
Browsing: look something interesting up.

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Beowulf: It's 1:45 in the morning and I'm wide awake........imagine the possibilities

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LOOKIT PEOPLES LOOKIT!! I'M POSTING!!!

If you haven't figured it out, I can't sleep. I don't know why. I don't realy have anything to rant about tho. I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could find something but what's the point. hehe, could it be that I'm ranting about not having anything to rant about?? boy do I have problems.

I caught myself talking to ah, well, myself, out loud in my car today. Without even thinking about it I just started talking to myself about nothing. then I realized I was doing it so I started talking to myself about talking to myself and so on and so on. I reiterate, I have problems.

And now I'm rambling about rambling to myself. I've got to stop this. If anyone has read this far down the post you shouldn't have. I don't think I'm going to get to a point anytime soon. WHY AREN'T I TIRED??? I didn't nap today. I stayed up late last night. I was tired all day. I ate pleanty so my body should be dedicating blood to my digestive track to take care of the food. But nooooooo. Not my body. I've got to be really messed up and stuff. (if you're still reading, STOP, before you get as screwed up as I am).

I realized there's no actual organization to this post, and I think I'm going to stop this one right here.

I am the weakest link, goodbye.

(Ed: fixed the link there, sorry about goofing up the time as well)

Mood: who knows what mood I'm in right now. I sure as hell don't.
Music: none right now but I
Browsing: who needs sleep? no you're never gonna get it. Who needs sleep, tell me what's that for. Who needs sleep, no you're never gonna get it. there's a guy who's been awake since the second world war!!-Barenaked Ladies

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Beowulf: Stupid Teachers

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Mmkay, this is my first post on this nifty bitching board.

I'm sitting in my HTML class right now and the teacher has spent this entire hour talking about pictures. He decided to demonstrate them in the order of GIF, JPEG, then PNG. The first half hour was spent on GIF. Does he really need to spend half of the entire class to demonstrate something that I could demonstrate in about five minutes?????? This guy is a complete idiot.

Noone is even paying attention. I've got a guy behind me who is looking up porn, a guy next to me who is drooling over his girlfriend I guess. Another guy in class has been writing e-mail after e-mail just like he does in every other class. Three chicks are in chatrooms conversing with each other. Mr. Kreibach seems to be the only one who gives a crap about these dang pictures and file formats. Just teach us how to put them in the damn webpage and get done with it. He could be covering things that I don't know how to do. Instead he just wastes all our time with useless lessons.

I think I'm done bitching about this now.

(ED: What he says is completely true. I formatted it a bit nicer)

Mood: Bored off my pale-middle-class-small-town-white ass
Music: nothing, unfortunately.

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